I think I died a long time ago.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
