I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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