the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you would pick up someone in the library
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
