Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
