id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
