I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
