from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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