do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
it was like eating out sand paper
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
