How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
