Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i think i have herpe
just one?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
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