it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
