This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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