Got a toothbrush?
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
