So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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