Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I've blown a few things in my day
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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