I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
