i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
