And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
