My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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