..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
