I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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