I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
