we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
