I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
