just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
