i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
