im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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