what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
