Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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