dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There r osticjed everywhere
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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