im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
