that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
