i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
