is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
