I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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