Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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