Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
