My pussy is not your playground.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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