I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
vagina is talking i cant
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
be right there i have to get my cape
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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