If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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