I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
