Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
