i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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