hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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