omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
