good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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