never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
