Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
