New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
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