Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We had to coat check the pizza.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
